Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
