So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
