I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
