When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i think i scared a bird with my dick
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
