I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
