i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
