my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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