I'm gonna have a badass scar
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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