I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
