this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
