Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
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