I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
