Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
