The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
