i barfeds in our rink
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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