I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
