So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
