He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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