Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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