maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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