thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
