Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
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