this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
