all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize