Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
