help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Randomize
