am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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