Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
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She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
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yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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