A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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