i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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