Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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