i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
