As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
