If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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