Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
