Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize