? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's just like the Real World with babies
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
