lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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