if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
