Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
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