Just cropdusted the office
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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