The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Randomize
