Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
