Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
i dont even know how to be here
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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