hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
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peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
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