How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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