I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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