New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
