even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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