you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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