tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
