if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize