It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
