I understand Curling. That high.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize