So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i now understand why vodka
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
