Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Reggie can tackle my bush.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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