The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
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