I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
