I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Randomize
