Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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