So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Randomize
