You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
