You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
