he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize