Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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