all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
